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Archive for September, 2011

The ideal couple

  • Dad was 12 years older than mom. He was in his forties when Nana was born and young Nana often got teased by her classmates because they thought he was old enough to be her grandfather.
  • Nana thought relationship between her parents was like a couple’s in Sada Masashi’s song, Kanpaku Sengen (Domineering Husband’s Declaration), released in 1980. This song was told in traditional Japanese husband’s perspective. Here is lyric in romanji and translation: http://www.kiwi-musume.com/lyrics/sadamasashi/kanpakusengen.html

Sada Masashi – Kanpaku Sengen. LOL Modern women like us won’t be pleased about this.

  • Though dad was a self-centered and stubborn husband who often scolded her without proper reason and spent too much money, mom loves him dearly. She even helped him putting on shoes while he scolded her for being too slow. Their relatives often asked mom why she didn’t want to get divorce but she always refused.
  • Nana described her mom as a daughter who was raised properly from a good family while dad was a brash and very self-confident good looking man who did everything in his own way and she heard that there were many women fell for him when he was younger. Therefore, she thought maybe that was the reason why mom was attracted by the wildness of him. (M is run in the family XD)
  • Mom is always a gentle and caring mother/wife. She never scolded Nana, her sister and dad.  She always took good care of him and her children,  always prepared healthy foods for them and specifically low-salt food for dad who had high blood pressure. Though dad didn’t seem to like mixed fruit juice mom made for him and the kids, he always said “it’s good for our health, so we should drink it” and drank it everyday.
  • Nana and her sister love mom’s cooking, especially her homemade croquette.
  • Nana often adds shoyu into almost everything she eat, even sliced cabbage.
  • Though dad was a strict husband/father, sometimes he showed his cute side. He usually offered to do grocery for mom and took Nana with him. Sometimes, he bought his favourite salty snacks, which he was advised to refrain from eating them. If he did so, he would buy Nana her favourite sweets and asked her to keep the secret from mom. Nana likes going shopping with him because of that. She thought Mom knew about their secret deal but decided to pretend she didn’t know.
  • What Nana impressed the most was the perfect understanding between her parents. Dad was like a little boy who loved being praised. Mom knew it and she often told her kids in front of him that dad’s cool and he would happily answer “of course, I am!”
  • Mom always took great care of dad’s bedridden self along 10 long years and she still unconsciously drove to Matsuyama hospital (about 1 hour drive from Niihama) sometimes after he passed away. This makes her feel sad every time mom told her. It was like they’re part of each other and now one had gone. Mom must feel like she has a hole in her heart that no one but dad can fill it.
  • Nana realized mom obeyed dad in everything not because she feared him or didn’t have other alternatives. She was willing to do it because she understood and loved him. Though mom said recently that “it’s better to have someone take care of me than taking care of someone”, Nana is pretty sure that even if mom can revives time she would choose dad over again.
  • Nana also thought that dad couldn’t live without mom. She must be the only one who loved him for who he was. She loved him enough to accept his selfish commands like  “prohibiting the hanging out with friends in cafe”, his overspending habit and his ridiculous hobbies. Nana thought he cherished an overwhelming love she had for him but never openly expressed his feeling.
  • Nana said mom always looks younger than her real age and is a very beautiful person (she is in her mid-sixties now). She thought maybe her love for dad & family is a key factor that made she looks young and radiant.
  •  After Nana reached 30, she was told often that marriage is one thing that good daughter can do to make her parents happy.
  • Mom didn’t pressure her to get married after she turned 30 like many Japanese parents did but sometimes she said if Nana get married but isn’t happy with it she could divorce whenever she wants (she also added like many celebs did lol) and mom is willing to take care of her children. Nana said o-mama thinks about grandkids before who would become her husband. (lol XD)
  • All people she fell in love with until now are kind and gentle but Nana doesn’t want just gentleness or sweet words. Her ideal married life is to be like her parents’, to be a couple who understand, accept and can rely on each other. She said if she would find someone she wants him to be like her dad (ok Nana, you’re definitely a masochist lol).
  • She doesn’t refuse the idea of starting her own family or having kids soon but she had to find someone she truly loves. She wishes to find the deep love like mom’s.
  • She ended this chapter with the thought about what dad would say if she has a child. Of course, he would boost around like “as expect from my grandkid, he/she is a genius!”
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